feel my soul burning
by velvet magnolias
Summary: Those are the people that Lily Luna is driven to, the ones whose eyes glint as if they hold all the secrets and truths of the universe, wrapped around in their own madness.


_Written_ ** _for:_**

 _-the "One Character Only" Competition, Round Two: Character-Lily Luna Potter; Additional Prompts: A kitchen (setting), James Potter ii (character), and Asylum!AU_

 _-the FF on F/F Challenge: Prompt 17-Lily Luna Potter/Ginny Weasley_

 _-and last but not least, the 50s AU Challenge: Prompts 1. Muggle!AU and 48. Mental Hospital!AU_

 _((Word Count: 2911))_

 ** _**********TRIGGER WARNING**********_**

 _I'm not sure if this would constitute as a trigger, but there's a death scene in this, toward the end; it's only mentioned, nothing too graphic, but just to be safe, anyway. Be careful, guys, and take care._

 _=#=_

 _A/N: Inspiration came a-calling and I answered. Then this happened. Enjoy :)_

 _=#=_

 ** _feel my soul burning_**

The nights in Azkaban are particularly long.

Some people, they sleep, fretful as they mutter in their sleep, but those people, they're not the ones who interest her.

There are others that the dark drives deeper into their own madness. Some yell and scream, some silently rage as they pace the confines of their own cages, but there are others, a handful of others that sit quietly and stare, _smile_ as if there are things they see, things they understand that others don't.

Those are the people that Lily Luna is driven to, the ones whose eyes glint as if they hold all the secrets and truths of the universe, wrapped around in their own madness.

 _Only the insane understand the insane,_ her Mum had said once when she was ten, muttered it to the silent of the night as she had pulled a stack of even more paperwork from the case she was currently working on.

Lily had smiled, even then.

=#=

The first time she meets Bellatrix Lestrange, neither woman says much.

They had warned her about that, _don't worry if she doesn't talk much; she rarely does, not to anyone,_ and she had only smiled as the guard closed the door silently behind her.

They sit in silence, Lily quietly observing Bellatrix, beautiful even in her madness, as Bellatrix looks back at her, smiling as if she knows something Lily doesn't.

It isn't until the guard who had followed her in steps aside for a moment, his attention being called away by someone on the other end of the radio he's carrying, that the silence is finally broken.

"Tell me, little Potter, how is your _mummy_?" Bellatrix asks her mouth barely moving, tone mocking; if it weren't for the fact that Lily has been listening intently since she walked in, she might've missed it.

She doesn't say anything for a moment, red hair spilling over her frame as she leans forward, just enough.

"I'm not sure, yet. It's something I'm working on," she says, leaves it at that and the silence falls over them as the guard moves to stand behind her once more.

Nothing else is said, but as Lily stands up to go after their session has ended, she sees the glint in Bellatrix's eye as she smiles.

It feels a lot like silent approval.

 _=#=_

The second time she visits Bellatrix, she smiles, greets her like an old friend.

The Senior Psychiatrists look at her in bafflement, scratch their heads as they try to understand. They'd expected her to fail; she's always loved proving others wrong.

She smiles, shrugs, taps her temple in a way she knows they won't understand.

"I guess I just have a way with people."

It's not hard to win their trust and respect, after that.

=#=

She's always respectful when she visits Gellert Grindelwald. They discuss the corruption of men and the greed that stems from them and how, in the history of the world, the greatest empires have been burned down and rebuilt from the ashes of those who burned with it.

She mostly looks forward to their talks; Gellert, he's a brilliant man, if a bit too ambitious for his own good. Acted too quickly, too impulsively, and in the end, that was his downfall.

She admires him anyway.

=#=

Tom Riddle, he's a different story.

Rode on Grindelwald's tailcoats, tried to take over from where he'd left off, but he never really _understood_. That's where he'd gone wrong, doing too much, too soon, without really understanding. She doesn't tell him that, though.

She just sits and smiles and listens to him plot, bids him farewell after the session is done. She doesn't visit him again, after that.

=#=

Ten voicemails later and countless of missed calls and she finds herself sitting in her parents' kitchen, the navy leather of the chair digging into her thighs.

"I just feel like we don't see you enough anymore," her mother says, dark, tight curls spilling from the messy bun she's put them in. "Your father and I both miss you."

Lily smiles as she accepts the cup of tea her mother is offering her, her dark hands a strong contrast to Lily's paler ones; she thinks of her father's brown skin, her brothers' dark features. She thinks of her own skin, tanned and freckled and nothing like their own.

 _You are the spitting image of your Grandmother,_ she had been told once and Lily might have seen the resemblance between herself and her namesake, if she'd been a bit more naive, perhaps.

Where Grandmother Lily's skin was pale, Lily Luna's was golden, dotted with freckles, her hair an auburn shade, so different to her Grandmother's own dark red hair.

She smiles, takes a sip of her tea before turning her attention to her mother.

"I'm sorry, Mum, I've just been so caught up with work. I promise I'll make it up to you and Dad," she says and her mother smiles as she takes a seat opposite her.

In another world, another life, perhaps, Lily Luna might have once felt guilty about lying to the woman who's raised her. Now, she just sits and smiles and makes polite conversation as she counts down the minutes before she can leave again.

=#=

She visits Severus Snape, sometimes.

Not out of curiosity, or because he's something useful to her; mostly, it's out of pity.

It's a sad story, Severus'. A man in love with a woman who would never love him back, a love that turned into obsession and drove him mad enough to join a man who called himself Lord, who spouted empty words and promised _greatness._

In any case, he's an interesting character and possesses a quick mind and sharp wit that most would have trouble keeping up with.

She smiles sadly during their sessions, like she does with Bellatrix. Both brilliant minds, although not enough ambition. Both could have been _great_ , conquered the world in their own right, but in the end, their obsession was their downfall.

She respects him enough, though, and can't help herself when she brings him a single lily during one of her visits. He takes it, hands shaking and reverent and his eyes, they glitter.

=#=

She's not surprised when she walks into her own kitchen and finds James perched on her countertop, beer in his hand as he makes himself at home. She says nothing as she toes off her shoes by the door and drops her keys on the coffee table, before getting a beer for herself.

Neither of them say anything, James looking at her as she ignores him, goes through the stack of mail sitting on her table; she's not surprised to find most of them open.

She shoots James a look and he smiles at her sheepishly.

"One of these days, I'm changing my lock," she declares and James grins this time, tips back his beer.

"You wouldn't. You love me too much," he says, stops as he raises an eyebrow, offers her a smirk. "'Sides, you're forgetting I know how to pick a lock."

She snorts under her breath, throwing the rest of her mail back on the table, before joining James.

"So, what do you want?" she asks, nudging his knee and it startles a laugh out of James, her bluntness.

"What, can't I visit my big sis for the fuck of it?" he asks, mock hurt, throws his free hand up at the look she levels him with. "Fine. Fine. It's Mum. She's been worried about you; apparently you've missed dinner twice and rejected her call two days ago."

Lily raises an eyebrow as she takes a sip. "I told her I've been busy with work. Got a big project coming up."

"Well can you call her and tell her that again? _Really_ could do without her constant nagging," he says, grins at the snort Lily gives him. "What? You know it's true! That's all she ever does. And with Al gone to America to study, the only people she's got left to nag is me, you and Dad. I've done my part, it's _your_ turn."

Lily says nothing as she shoots James a smile, rolls her eyes as she walks to her fridge. She opens it, before closing it again.

"How do you feel about takeout?" she asks, doesn't wait for James' reply as she walks to the phone; his whoop and loud _Best sister ever,_ is answer enough anyway.

By the time James leaves, her phone has rang a total of three times. Neither of them acknowledge it.

=#=

There's a total of three knocks at her door before a woman she recognises as Minerva McGonagall steps into her office and the thick file she's holding in her arms is enough to draw Lily's complete attention.

She's a stern woman, an old friend of her grandparents, of her parents; close friend and even closer ally to the Former Prime Minister, Albus Dumbledore, before his timely death at the hands of one Severus Snape.

She dislikes her on principle; she doesn't let it show.

"Hello, Dr McGonagall," she says, lets a pleasant smile play on her lips. "What can I do for you?"

"There is a patient; nothing we've done with her works. You...have a _way_ with these patients. The Board would like to request your assistance," she says in lieu of greeting, ignores her greeting completely and Lily merely raises an eyebrow, takes the file McGonagall is offering her.

She can't help but feel proud of herself when her hands don't shake, her careful facade doesn't slip.

"And what is the patient's name?" she asks as she pretends to flip through the files and she doesn't even know she's holding her breath until McGonagall speaks again.

"Weasley. Ginevra Weasley."

=#=

Her parents are settling down for dinner when Lily slips quietly into their house and her mother grins when she sees her, pulls her into a tight embrace and her father smiles warmly from where he's sitting, eyes tired as he accepts the kiss she offers.

She sits at her usual spot at the dining room table, accepts the plate of food her mother has procured for her.

"So tell us, love, how's work?" her father asks as her mother settles down opposite him and Lily smiles as she grabs the glass of red wine that's been poured for her.

"It's going great actually. I've been assigned a new patient," she says and her father raises an eyebrow as her mother makes an interested sound from the back of her throat.

"Oh? And who might that be, if I'm allowed to ask?"

Lily brings the glass to her lips. "Ginevra Weasley," she says; there's a split second of silence before her mother spills her own glass, apologising profusely as she excuses herself; her father's fork falls to the ground with a soft clatter. "Do you know her, Dad?" she asks, notes the way his eyes have started darting around, not meeting her own.

"No, not at all. Only heard of her," he says in a hoarse whisper; Lily says nothing, hides a smile as she takes a sip of her glass.

=#=

They all know the story of the youngest and only Weasley daughter.

Her family, one of Dumbledore's strongest and most faithful supporters, after Lily's own; her father, a prominent figure in the government had ordered the arrest of Rabastan Lestrange, member of a group of people that were looking to overthrow the government who called themselves The Knights of Walpurgis, lead by a man who demanded to be addressed as Lord Voldemort.

She'd been kidnapped at eleven, coming home from school, as a sort of payback, an eye for an eye. She'd been saved after numerous failed attempts, but not until she'd been brainwashed, tortured into opening her eyes to their way of things.

She'd been sent away for a while, to be saved, to be _cured_ , and she had managed to fool everyone long enough after she had returned to kill her own father just as he was being sworn into office.

She'd been driven mad, deep into insanity at the hands of her captors; no power on earth could have saved her.

That's what they say, anyway; Lily knows better.

=#=

The door closes loudly behind her and Lily is glad she'd managed to convince them she could do without a guard.

Ginny is sitting at the table already, body relaxed in her chair as she observes Lily, her ginger hair spilling behind her, a small, thoughtful smile playing on her lips.

"If it isn't the eldest Potter child. My, what an honour," Ginny says after it's apparent that Lily isn't going to be the first to speak, motions to the chair across from her own. "Please, do have a seat. I'd hate for you to be standing."

Her voice is all it takes for Lily to come back to her senses, snap back into herself, and she's all authority then as she sits across the woman who has occupied so many of her dreams for as long as she can remember.

"Ginny Weasley," Lily says, offers a sly smile as she throws her auburn hair over her shoulders. "The pleasure is all mine."

"So I've been told," Ginny says, smirks at Lily as she allows her eyes to travel the length of her body that is exposed to her eyes. "Tell me, what can I do for you?"

Lily says nothing, merely raises an eyebrow as she extracts a small, leather-bound book from the files she's set in front of her, eyes carefully trained on Ginny; the other woman, she's mastered the art of remaining imperceptible but Lily has a sharp eye and while anyone else might have not noticed the way Ginny's smile slips, just a fraction, the way her shoulders tense, just minutely, Lily does.

"Interesting read," Lily says, taps one finger against the cover of the book. "Good ideas, if a bit flawed."

"Oh?" Ginny asks, arching an eyebrow as the tension in her shoulders melt and she leans forward unconsciously; _interested_ , Lily's mind supplies.

Lily smiles. "I do have some... _suggestions_ , but I need someone else's input."

She levels Ginny with a look and Ginny, she smiles, beautiful and wicked as she leans back in her seat.

"I think we might be able to work something out."

On the cover of the book, in gold, faded letters: T. M. Riddle.

=#=

"How?" Ginny asks once after one of their private sessions.

She places a hand on Lily's arm and she falters, feels her skin flush. She says nothing as she finishes gathering her things one-handed, is careful enough not to make any slight movement that would warrant Ginny removing her hand.

"My father, he keeps you locked in a box hidden at the bottom of his closet; I just knew where to look," she murmurs after a moment, shrugs and Ginny smiles, impressed as she lets her hand linger for a second longer before retrieving it; Lily tries not to let her disappointment show.

Neither woman says anything for a long moment, the air charged with electricity between them. She can feel Ginny's eyes on her, and she stares at her hands for a long moment, takes small, calming breaths.

She presses a piece of paper into Ginny's just as the guard shows up to let her out, and the instructions on it are vague enough that in the wrong hands, they'd end up straight in the waste basket.

Later, when Lily lays in bed, one hand making its way into her knickers, she'll think of this moment, of the way Ginny had looked at her, eyes hooded and clouded with want.

=#=

Growing up in a political environment had its perks, Lily has found. She knows her way around official documents, signatures, has picked up several useful _skills_ that would have made her parents look at her in disappointment if they knew.

Nobody even blinks when two days after her final session with Ginny an important-looking government official delivers a letter straight from the Prime Minister's office.

There's a flutter of activity around her as everyone prepares for the transfer, the senior Psychiatrists disappearing into the Conference Room without a word.

Lily sits and sips at her tea.

=#=

She knows her father is home by the sound he makes when he sees his wife covered in blood, a look of pure terror etched on her face. He takes a step back, hands moving automatically to his pockets but Lily is quicker, slips out of the shadows as she presses her body behind her father's.

"Hello, Dad," she says and she feels the way he relaxes at the sound of her voice, tension returning when he feels the cold of the sharp blade she presses to his neck. She smiles. "Mum sends her regards."

=#=

" _It is with great sorrow that I am forced to report the deaths of our Prime Minister, Harry Potter and his wife, Hermione,"_ the reporter playing on the telly says and Lily smiles as she feels hands wrapping around from behind her. " _Both were found murdered in their home; officials have yet to release a statement. No word on their daughter, yet, who seems to have disappeared. We can only hope for the best."_

"You did good, my love," Ginny says, whispers into her neck and Lily pulls her closer, presses their lips in a searing kiss.

Together, they'll watch the world _burn_.


End file.
